The Rusty Academic

One of the other things that has intrigued me whilst reading PhD-related stories and anecdotes has been the frequent reference to meltdowns, being overwhelmed, stress, anxiety etc. There is a really scary level of poor mental health outcomes associated with PhD study (see, still not a proper enough researcher to reference that 😉), which doesn't make good reading. I am going into this eyes open, knowing full well this is both possible and even likely. But without knowing exactly why things come to be stressful and overwhelming etc, it's difficult to prepare yourself! I suppose this blog may also be about trying to document any insight I gain around that side of things.  Last week ended up being a bit of a write off due to a combination of lovely things, like having family visiting and attending a practitioner conference which reconnected me with many former 'colleagues' (in the literal and wider sense; this was a very life-giving experience and helped root me back in...

My most frequently frequented FAQ these past few weeks has been 'have you started the PhD yet?' This is even something I saw frequently asked by other PhDs (as it appears we are known, despite the oft-repeated rhetoric that we are more than our research) when we've gathered together. The desire to calibrate your experience against others' runs deep, I guess.  Simple answer: still not sure. Practical answer: I have sat in the library, read 3 articles (all 3 of which I had strongly insinuated that I had read when I applied for the PhD - does anyone have time to read beyond the abstract though, really?) I have a desk. I have been to 4 lectures. I have even had a supervision meeting! I have also been to several induction events.  Real answer: I am still struggling to capture in words the experience of this past week and a bit. I have worked in a combination of planning, urban design and active travel for the past 5+ years and a multitude of things before that. My job ...

An unbelievably short amount of time ago (given how long it feels), I made the turbulent, exhilarating, exhausting, mind-bending journey from a relatively well-paid, stimulating practitioner job that I loved back to academia in the form of a PhD. It is a good 6 years since I last studied and over a decade (yikes) since I graduated from my undergrad degree so whereas I am not entirely a stranger to academia, my current status is decidedly 'rusty'. I contemplated the term 'reluctant' but that's not accurate. To be clear, the opportunity to do a PhD has given me an overwhelming sense of privilege beyond anything I can currently process. But I guess I would describe it as a sense of not being  of  the academic system and still currently feeling very rooted in practice. This may change, I suppose.  What I wish to capture in this blog is the lived experience of transitioning back to academia; some kind of answer to questions that I have asked myself constantly for the ...